On this journey, every day is different. Some are definitely better than others.
Yesterday was a really hard day for me…
I find I’m much better when I’m with Darla White Brooks and around family and friends.
Yesterday I was in Florida.
Yesterday I was all alone.
Alone with my memories. Alone with my thoughts.
Instead of sitting in my apartment with the curtains closed, I decided to venture out to Disney Springs.
“Fresh air would do me good”, I convinced myself reluctantly.
I like being around people. I enjoy the energy of life. Suffering loss it’s even more meaningful to me now.
As I walked slowly through the crowds, I was intentional to really take in everything around me.
To other tourists I was walking painfully slow as they rushed past me.
I was invisible to them.
I found a seat in the sun.
“If I have to be in Florida, at least I need to enjoy this warm spring day before the summer sauna settles in.”
I watched.
I listened.
People hurrying everywhere. Convincing themselves if they just moved faster and did more they would make the most of every moment. Filling every second with something. Giving no space for God’s grace to give them a glimpse of something unexpected…fresh…new…beautiful.
I looked at their eyes.
Burdened. Weary. Exhausted. Arguing. Crying kiddos
Counting the minutes…but are they being intentional to make the minutes count?
Darla and I have spoken often since Aleya’s passing. We’ve noticed we feel like we are moving in slow motion while the frenzy of the world swirls around us.
It’s like we’re bystanders, watching everyone rush and scurry by. Always striving. Never thriving.
Eating lunch alone, I watched the passers by through the window.
Faces in phones.
Trapped in a virtual world…all the while missing the miracle of the moment. As I sat alone, I the memories of my little girl into my mind.
“She had it right”, I whispered.
No social media. No distractions.
Intentional. Living fully in the present. Seeking God is every moment.
Being who she was created to be…doing what she was called to do. No more. No less.
Yesterday was a hard day for me…And God was near.
On this journey, every moment is different. “Father, help me to always embrace the gift of the present, live fully in each moment, and seek you as I walk slowly through each day.”
By His grace…For His glory, Jason
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